So he has been sick for too many months to count.
Is that one?
He was better and then came down with a fever.
Do you think that is two?
Or do they both count as one?
He apologized to me for not being able to follow through again with DD. I wasn't even thinking about it at the time. I just want him well, but it was sweet.
There was an incident this weekend with one of my elderly relatives. Reality has been pushed to the forefront, hard questions need to be asked and decisions made.
Is that two or three?
He apologized to me for not being able to follow through again with DD. I wasn't even thinking about it at the time. I just want him well, but it was sweet.
*Sigh* But I am tired.
Is that two or three?
He got a call the other day.
His father is very sick and asking for him.
He will be leaving. We don't know how long he will need to be gone.
So would this be number three? If it is four, does that mean we go to six now?
I don't do well when he is away for a long time.
But there is no other option. He MUST go.
I am beginning to think we are not meant to do this thing. Or are we being tested?
My Reason
->
->
My Man
So Wilma, pass over your bottle of
Never mind, I think I'll order it by the barrel.
Do they make a straw for that?
Do you think it is true, "Everything comes in threes"?
I hope, no I sincerely pray, this is number three.
If it's not....... what could be next?
DANG!
The barrels of wine submission I ordered are out of stock!
It's just as well, I don't drink anyway.
I know Ben & Jerry's have a Dd "Hott Buns" ice cream.
Do you think they make a "Chunky Chocolate Submission Swirl" flavor?
Can I get it in a barrel?
Fa la la la la
Feel free to leave a comment, be kind.
I'll repeat it here for emphasis-
ReplyDeleteYour husband said he wants ttwd, and life is certainly in your way A LOT, but trust him. The dust will settle eventually. You may not have hot buns, but your communication is flowing more freely. THAT is the biggest part. You are going to have such a strong foundation to move forward with ttwd when it picks up!
I am sorry that life has been a rocky road to travel lately for you. Really I am. You've had so much to deal with, Dd aside. You've held strong- remember your beginning posts and how you were afraid that you couldn't face life's challenges? You are doing so well with your challenges. I admire you for that :)
All My Love
Willie
Hey Willie,
DeleteI know all this.....everything you say is true and I know it, and I do trust him. I am just a little breathless from all this. I want to sit in my comfy chair with him, put on a good movie and indulge with some ice cream and ignore the world for a little while. : )
By the way I called the guy at the submissionery, he said some lady who looked like Susan Sarandon wearing a "Hit Girl" costume came by and bought out all of their barrels of submission. Are you stock piling them in your shoebox?!
Love and hugs,
BB
It does seem like when troubles come, they come in groups. We've dealt with a lot since we started DD and there were times when DD took a backseat to everything going on. But we held on to each other, kept talking and came out stronger on the other side.
ReplyDeleteJust stay strong and lean on your man. You will get through this.
Hugs,
Dana
We have come a long way actually in DD. But I feel like a runner in a race that has restarted several time due to false starts. Sigh. We have not been able to work out what works for us and what doesn't. We have identified several problems that need to be worked on. My mind is busy now trying to figure out how to do this long distance. I think it would have been different if we had actually gotten some practice in.Lol.
DeleteWe will see. It should be interesting.
Thanks and hugs Dana
BB
Troubles DO seem to come in groups! I hate it! It's like the saying when it rains it pours.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you so much having your man going away for who knows how long. I just know I couldn't do it. I can hardly hold it together at home daily sometimes around here. Hang in there!
On a lighter note though - I loved your barrel of submission, and the straw, as well as the ice cream! OH.. LOL I need to now go off and make an Ice cream button of Chunky Chocolate Submission Swirl.
We have been separated before. It doesn't happen often, but I don't do well when it does. I take on hugh projects around the house, don't sleep and don't eat. When I pick him up from the airport, we hug each other tight , then he pulls away and the first words out of his mouth are "You look awful! What have you been doing?!" Sigh.
DeleteI looked for a long time for a pic of a guy leaning on a wine barrel sipping it out thru a straw and never found one. Can't wait to see your button for Chunky Chocolate Submission Swirl ice cream. I may submit it to the B & J company as a suggestion for ice cream. With Hott Bunns ice cream someone there has to be in to spanking.
So sorry to hear about your FIL and your relative. Sometimes it really does feel like it's impossible to catch a break! I hope you guys get one really soon. Until then...you'll be there for each other:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Tess!
DeleteIt helped a lot to distract me for a while just putting this together and getting it out. Now I am ready to move on to problem solving.......: ) or helping him to problem solve.
Dang BB - Sorry you've had so much hard stuff to deal with lately. Hang in there, you're doing well and it will get better.
ReplyDeleteWillie is right - communication is a really big part of DD/TTWD and it sounds as if you two are doing well in that department so don't worry about the other stuff. As life settles down, it will all fall into place.
BTW, stop counting and never, ever ask "what could be next?". As my daddy always said "don't go borrowing trouble!"
Hugs and Blessings,
Cat
Thanks Cat,
DeleteCommunication is one of the areas we have improved the most and I am very grateful for that right now. We are going to need it.
It is hard to break the habit of counting. My mother always did. She wasn't superstitious really, but she believed everything came in threes and more people are born and die on a full moon.
He told me last night he wanted us to go away for a weekend together. This hasn't happened in 15 years. YEAH!
Hugs and thanks Cat!
Aaammmennn Cat! I learned the hard way never ever ask what else. There will always be something else. We must focus on the positive! But there are more babies born on a full moon. ;)
DeleteOften it is during these trying times that we are given the strength to face each and every challenge. Last week when I felt troubled I found some great inspiration from caring blogland, and RL family and friends. You are both on the same page and that is what matters.
ReplyDeleteWhen we faced problems in the past like this I would usually withdraw. We will see how different it is this time. Hopefully we have packed more under our DD belt than I thought and this time will be different.
DeleteThanks Minelle
Oh Blue Bird! It's too much all at once. I'm so sorry that you have so much difficulty on your plate.
ReplyDeleteBack when we first started ttwd, I didn't know about blogs but I was part of two forums. One of the things that I quickly noticed was that the couples who started heavy with the physical part of ttwd before doing hard work on what they wanted their dynamic to look like (as in leader/follower at my house and obviously different for others) ended up putting the cart before the horse. It only worked for a time and then they would have to stop and play catch up. Many couldn't sustain it at all. So...all of that to say that it may feel like you can't get started well but in reality I'd guess that you are both slowly laying a very healthy foundation that you will be able to use when you finally have the space and physical health you need to focus on this.
Yikes, I'm wordy tonight. Sorry about that. Will be thinking about you BB.
Thanks Susie,
DeleteThere is the old saying....."All things happen for a reason". I am an instruction reader, list maker, hyper organizer. I own a label maker and it makes me happy when I use it. LOL! I created a binder with labels for everything DD.
You are right we are laying down some really good foundation work. LOL! I think I am being taught that I don't have control and never will. I chose to give control to him, but truthfully I haven't been very good at it. This is really slowing me down and stopping me from trying to make everything so methodical and organized. The more I stop trying to fit it into a box the more natural, organic things are becoming.
I think we will continue to exercise our roles (Leader/Follower) and let everything flow naturally.
Again thanks Susie!
Awww, Sweetie - for whatever reason it often happens that way. In the space of a year we had a devastating financial hit that was completely beyond our control, my Dad died, Ian's Father died and his (our) beloved nephew was killed in a car accident. I remember thinking "how much more"?" I really understand the burden.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of your dd dynamic, sweetie - I think you are really doing well to just keep things on the table at this juncture. I agree heartily with Susie above, there is a foundation being built during the time of incredible stress, but it will be very strong when everything is said and done.
Take care, Sweetie.
Thoughts and prayers to you and hubby.
hugs
lillie
Hi Lillie,
DeleteWe have been in this position before. It is one of the reasons I wanted to start DD. LOL! I was hoping to get a lot of practice before we were in this sort of crisis again. : ) But I can't control these things so it looks like we will keep our pace at a slow inch by inch crawl right now, but I really think we will keep moving. We both want this and I know we will both give our best efforts to keep it going. Susie is right. This the best pace for us right now and we should be able to lay down a strong healthy foundation.
Thanks and hugs Lillie,
BB
I'm so sorry for all your troubles BB. They do always seem to come in clusters. And it's difficult being apart at this time of the year too. I hope things will soon take a turn for the better.
ReplyDeleteBut as to the Dd, just think honey, we are crawling along at a snail's pace too. It seems like one pace forward and two paces back. And it's really hard to communicate sometimes. I didn't realise just how hard this was all going to be. Certainly, we already feel even closer than before. But I don't think I have ever felt so emotional. There are days when all I seem to do is leak tears! Reading everyone else's blogs is just great. It makes me feel much better. Please feel free to look at mine (hint hint) as I need all the friends I can get as well. I hope your husband's dad recovers soon. Many, many hugs, Ami
Everything you are describing sounds like the typical beginning of a new Dd relationship. Just remember communication is the key to Dd. Don't let it take you 6 months to figure that out like it took me. If you can go back and read some of the blogs from the beginning, maybe it will help you to avoid some of the same pitfalls, but probably not.LOL! : D
DeleteHugs back
BB
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, you're funny :) But, the situation isn't funny at all. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, and he has to be gone. I don't like that at all!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that the time apart is short, and you weather it well.