My gift to you....laughter.

Ok, so I know I have been out of blogland for a long time. Things were crazy busy and then I was just in a blue funk. Nothing got done unless it HAD to get done. I did something I haven't done in a long time, I retreated into novels. Only with the greatest reluctance did I come out to deal with what was absolutely necessary. Rooster has been patient, in large part because has been sick again. When he felt better I asked him to help me out of it and he went to work. After he did his job, there was nothing....no response, but by the end of the week it was over. My month long funk was gone. Since the end of last week I have been trying to catch up and my sex drive finally returned. I have been looking over my husband the last couple of days with the intent to inflict obscene things on his body. Ok, in your dictionary it may not be obscene, but in ours it is. Unfortunately his work has been really stressful lately so I have had to sit back, daydream and plan our friday night.

So this morning I decided to take care of something that has gone out of control now for over a month. My body looked like an alpha males. Thats right it was covered in hair. I purchased this hot wax kit months ago and decided now was the time to try it out. I set everything up and started on my legs.

OUCH!

But I would servive. It took me about 30 minutes to do each leg, then I moved to the pits. OOOOOOUUCH! Fortunately, both only took about 3 minutes.


I was admiring my smooth self in the mirror and had a thought.......


Hmmmm........what if I.......

Are some of you gasping in horror.....and others gasping with laughter.  Please make it laughter, I am filled with enough horror already.

That's right, I attempted to give myself a brazilian wax. Why the horror....well I have never had a brazilian wax so really don't have the first clue how to do it. I was not successful. At this moment my evening plans may be ruined because I have effectively glued myself shut. Just as I was trying to go in with another cloth to try and make it work, a contractor called and said he would be by in 20 minutes  (2 hours early) to finish a job and pick up his check.

DAMN

I jumped in the shower and discovered that this stuff doesn't dissolve.  AAAAAAAAAAH!

I am now sitting here, writing to you all, wearing an old pair of underwear, fearful of what will happen when I try to peal them off, waiting for the contractor to finish his job so I can give him his check and try to figure out how to fix this.


I am thinking rubbing alcohol?





Uh!




or maybe!





GOOBEGONE?!