September 1st is our one year anniversary practicing DD. We talked about it for three months before this, but this was our official start date......... also when I started this blog.
This is not the post I had planned or wanted to write. It is where I have found myself at the moment.
I am in a difficult situation. In all fairness I am here through my own fault. I do not blame him for where I am now.
But broken promises....
I saw this coming and asked Rooster over and over to help me to stay focused to avert this. It is one of those mundane, repetitive things that needs attention.
Over and over he promised he would.
Over and over he failed to keep his promise.
Now here I am......and I am scared, hurt, angry, and bitter....I have lost trust.
I had a better understanding of where we were a year ago when we started DD than now.
Now......
I have to get out of this mess.
I have to do it myself.
Congratulations on your anniversary BB,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are in a difficult situation right now and are feeling hurt and angry. I hop you two are able to communicate and work though it together.
(((Hugs)))
Roz
You have the courage and strength to do what needs to be done. Trust yourself. Hugs
ReplyDeleteBlue Bird, I don't know you at all, but interestingly enough we share both a blog and a DD anniversary. That must mean something?
ReplyDeleteMaking a better marriage is worth fighting for. Hang in there, and fight the fight! It is not an easy path, but it is so totally worth it. Go shake things up!!!
Sara
Oh, BB, I'm sorry you're in such a place. I agree with Sunny, you're stronger than you know. but you don't have to do it yourself. I/we are here for you. Let me know what I can do to help.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Well Blue Bird...we are a month behind you in ttwd and I am in blogging. You and I have had very interesting and bizarre twists and turns during out 'adventure',( heck journey just sounds so lame compared to what we have gone through !) in Dd.
ReplyDeleteI too don't think my one year post ( if I even do one) will be a typical one for a one year- but when have the 4 of us been typical? Here is what I do know, you know more about yourself than you did, or were willing to admit a year ago. The landscape of ttwd for you is ever changing, yet never consistent and that can be nauseating, infuriating, depressing, annoying...and well generally reek havoc on a person's emotional well being. HOWEVER, you my friend have persevered! Waivering but never giving up. It isn't easy when you feel you are the driving force behind something that is supposed to help you relinquish control.
Inhale, exhale, and don't be too hard on yourself. You will get through this road block like you have every other one this past year. I believe it. Because I have 'seen' you in action.
You know where to find me, if you want an ear.
love
willie
(((hugs)))) Sending you energy...
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of your support. We are working through it. I will update you later.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs,
Blue Bird